The Amazon Blog 22 - Bugman the peacemaker - shame it's not piece worker.

The bug count on deck was high in the morning: hundreds and hundreds of homopterans (plant hoppers) so typical dawn conversations went along the lines of:

"What's this?"
"A homopteran bug."
"It's an insect then - a bug."
"Well, not quite. Do remember the two you asked me about yesterday?"
"Oh yes. They were bugs too: one was a beetle and one a different sort of bug."
"Actually only one of them was a bug, the other, the black one was a beetle."
"Ah so beetles aren't bugs."
"That's right."
"But beetles have six legs so they must be insects."
"Yes."
Then sensing victory, "so they're bugs."
"No. All bugs are insects but only a small proportion of insects are bugs."
"That doesn't make sense."
"It does you know. 'Bug' is a technical term meaning only those insects with four wings and piercing mouthparts. Things like greenfly are true bugs - they suck sap through their mouthparts. Beetles have four wings but they have jaws and bite at their food like bees and wasps."
"So what did you say this is?"
"A homopteran bug - a sort of Plant Hopper."
"Ah, thank you."
A few yards further down the deck and the cycle repeated itself.
"What's this?"
A lap of the deck took nearly 45 minutes.

---OOO---

The last stop on the Amazon was just for the morning in Parintins, an Amazonian town famous for its Boi Bumba festival - a strange mixture of indigenous myths and Iberian custom, carnival and a competition. The story, told by two opposing teams (the red and blue) involves the death and resurrection of a bull . Each year the population is swollen by thousands of visitors and it is believed to be second in size, only to Rio. Hugely extravagant costumes, e;lab orate dance routines and amazing props are used to tell the story. Now a regular cruise ship stop the local populace recreate aspects of this wonder in a one hour show filled with light, colour, hypnotic rhythms and energetic dances. At the end of each segment a huge, hand manoeuvred 'float' is brought on stage and animated by pulleys, ropes and one presumes hydraulic jacks. The operators are as invisible as the puppeteers and Warhorse. A huge lily bud arrived on stage, grew, rising to fifteen feet from the ground and then opened revealing first the flower and then, at its centre, a female dancer in the most fantastical costume. Each creation revealed a leading dancer in some dramatic way. A huge snake reared up and struck, opening its mouth to reveal the dancer, a tiger roared to the same effect and from the back of a piraña a dancer was projected towards the ceiling. The penultimate creation was a giant beetle whose wing cases opened to reveal its treasure. Many faces turned to locate the Bug Man and one seemed to mouth "Well is that a bug?" The stage was filled with energy and entertainment, a huge sense of fun and no attempt to pretend that it was anything other than a spectacular show. A huge amount of work had been put into the costumes (twenty or thirty dancers with eight changes of costume in an hour) and the 'floats'. No artifice, just good energetic fun. How different from Boca de Valeria.

---OOO---

The last night on the Amazon and at 10:30 pm the aft deck, where the smokers congregate, was a the site of screaming and screeching; the flap of huge wings against walls and clothes and sometime hair and faces. More than 250 Nepid bugs, identical to the British Water Scorpion but up to five and half inches long with a wingspan of nearly eight inches, came on board over the stern or from the starboard side. Real fear ensued in some quarters and a call went out for Bug Man. Feeling in need of some sort of Parintin style superhero costume, Bugman was on his way having just started his evening patrol. Calm was restored when it was pointed out that, as they were true bugs they couldn't bite as they didn't have jaws. Calm was reduced when the spectators were reminded that true bugs had piercing mouthparts and might stab so were probably best not handled.

It was gone midnight when the last explanation had been given, "true bugs . . . Nepids . . . insects . . . piercing mouthparts . . . yes they do fly . . . they eat fish . . . not beetles . . . Water Scorpions . . . no, nothing to do with scorpions so they cannot sting . . ."
Fifty or sixty remained in sight on deck in the morning and the first questions began at about 5:30 am. "Greetings Bug Man. Many bugs. Must be in your element. Hmm, child, sweetshop. Off-licence in your case."
"Morning Captain."
"Big buggers. Bally good that, Bug . . gers. Bally funny."
"Very good Captain."
"So what are they? These big chaps. Beetles? Bugs? Bats?"
"Bugs, Captain, true bugs . . .piercing mouthparts . . . four wings . . .Water Scorpion . . . not scorpions." By seven it was time to try and slip away for breakfast. There were four interruptions from four concerned deck walkers before breakfast was over and the return to deck was rather like the appearance of a very odd, minor celebrity. The explanations were repeated for an hour or so when a red-faced lady came along the deck puffing and blowing.
"Please would you come to the back of the ship."
"Are there more of the bugs that look like this?" asked while proffering a fine specimen in her direction.
"Oh yes there are some but its not that. I think they are going to fight."
"The bugs?"
"No, you know the very tall chap with the very loud shirts and the chap with the pretend posh accent." 
"Not exactly."
"Well they're arguing, hammer and tongs. It's going to come to blows."
"Shouldn't you advise one of the crew?"
"Aren't you crew?"
"No."
"Oh dear, sorry, but you're the only person who can stop them."
The puzzled expression offered as a response to this statement elicited the explanation.
"They're arguing about the bugs. One of them says they're scorpions and the other says they're not." 
"They're like Water Scorpions."
"I know, I remember you telling me earlier but someone has not listened to you properly and, Chinese whispers and all that, they've told the very tall chap that you said the bugs are scorpions."
"Oh dear."
Armed with two prime specimens, one held in each hand, Bugman marched off to adjudicate in the dispute
---OOO---
"Ow - it bit me."
"Technically it didn't - no jaws. It stabbed you with its piercing mouth."
"OK but it still hurt."
"Well I have been saying its probably best not to handle them."
"But you've been picking them up."
"Yes but I do have the necessary experience and knowledge."
"Oh a case of do as I say not as I do."
"That works well with brain surgeons - you accept that they have experience and knowledge and if they didn't you wouldn't want them operating on you."
"That's different, these are just bugs, that's brain surgery."
"Yes but they haven't stabbed me and I'm not complaining."
"OK could you teach me how to pick them up safely?"
"It's not a very useful skill but if you insist."

The safe technique was demonstrated and he picked up the largest specimen he could find and with a huge smile paraded along the deck demonstrating his machismo.
Big bugs please little minds.